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A Conversation Between Brothers: Why Some Black Men Despise Natural Hair
by West Parsons
March 8, 2015


by Ebrahim Aseem

“I love my thick nappy curls,” Eden confessed. “But I noticed when my hair is all laid & straight, I get approached way more by guys. Otherwise, black men treat me like my natural hair makes me instantly ugly. That’s kinda why I approached you first.”

She removed her headband & ran her fingers through her huge, natural curls, as her brown skin glistened in the daylight. I marveled at her beauty before replying.

“Some males who are hesitant to approach women with natural hair are intimidated by the confidence you’re displaying by wearing your natural hair & he cowers at the possibility of you rejecting him,” I explained.

“This is the same reason the corporate world does not fully embrace or always endorse women who wear their natural hair. You are seen as a threat. Too militant. Rebellious. Non-submissive.

An overly-macho, mentally fragile male can NOT handle a free thinking, conscious woman with her own mind. She does not even arouse him sexually. He needs a submissive woman.

A woman’s beautiful natural hair is a repellant for....  {See full article here.}

To start with, in my elementary school years my mom always kept my hair blow dried and in a high puff. The kids at school were fascinated with how thick my hair was. One time the rubber band keeping up my puff broke and my hair stayed straight up ( like frankenstein). As a child I never disliked my natural hair texture because I didn’t even know what it was myself. Ironically I saw a curly fro on tv and I thought it was a perm and asked my mom for one ( I was so confused).

Once I got to middle school it was a different story. I got my first relaxer in 6th grade. I loved my straight hair. I wore my hair up nearly everyday. My hair routine consisted of sulfate shampoos, blow drying (no product in hair), and leaving out a small bang which I flat ironed religiously. The hair in the ponytail did ok, but my bangs were horribly damaged. Furthermore, I knew nothing about healthy hair care. By 8th grade I became reluctant to get my next relaxer, but continued.

My freshman year of Highschool is when I really began caring about my hair. Natural Hair Youtubers became my TV. I watched tutorials endlessly and I was finally becoming confident about my hair. After taking swimming in P.E  I decided I was done with relaxers, and I went on a no heat challenge and protective style challenge for a year. My hair flourished and I retained a TON of length! On top of that I cut off my relaxed ends over the summer and had 8 inches of beautiful 4a hair. I was in LOVE!! I rocked twist outs, curly puffs, flat twist outs, banto knot outs, and flexi rods (all no heat).

Sophomore year I was on top of the world and ready to rock my curly fro. Then the... (click read more to see the rest of Shemeka's story)
unthinkable happened HEAT DAMAGE. I know what your thinking, “what happened to no heat?!” I experimented with my instyler on my natural hair one time (turned into a frizz ball in the humidity). Then a week later I tried roller set wraps (did two days in a row) and then when the second rollerset wrap didn’t work (frustrated) I brought out my instyler and used it on HIGH. Keep in mind I used no heat protectant for all of this. The result, my curl pattern appeared slightly different to me and in one small section on the left side of my head I saw about an inch of stringy ends (NOOOOOOOOO!). So I cut off about half the heat damage and I currently have about half an inch left to get rid of. After going through that experience I am SO DONE with heat. The results are truly not worth it. For anyone who has some heat damage like me just continue taking care of your hair as best as you can and your hair WILL grow back. Don’t focus on length, but the health of your hair. March 1st of 2015 (2 year natural anniversary) I plan to cut off the last bit of my heat damage.

Last but not least, after going through all of that with my hair and experimenting with different products I felt like I truly understood my hair, and I felt a need to start helping others so…. I LAUNCHED A YOUTUBE CHANNEL!! I self titled it “shemekascurls” and now i’m constantly working to produce videos helpful to new and old naturals;hoping that I can show people something new and inspirational so they’ll love their curls as much as I do. Also so they won’t make the same pitfalls on their journey. So if any of you girls (or guys) out there are scared to go natural JUST DO IT! You won’t regret it. When you finally learn to love your hair, a whole new world of healthy living is revealed, and you will find you love those curls, coils, or kinks much more than you ever thought possible.
Name: Nicole W.
Q: What is your hair story?  What kind of hair styles have you rocked, before embracing your natural hair?
A:  My mother is a cosmetologist so my hair was always fried, dyed and laid to the side!  I had a Jerri Curl from 5th through 7th grade and then in the 8th grade I got my first relaxer.  I wore a relaxer from the age of 14 until 35 :o).  I had a perm for almost 21 years and I really enjoyed having straight hair.  While my hair was relaxed I would often wear my hair short or in a cute bob cut!

Q: When and why did you decide to start wearing your hair naturally?
A: I began to research natural hair in 2010 and I decided to go natural because I wanted to see what my natural hair looked like.  So in July 2011 I did the big chop and never looked back!

Q: Did you have any big fears about going back to your natural texture?
A:  I really can’t say I had any fears I was just wondering how I was going to take care of my hair and what would I look like.

Q: What are three products you can't live without for nurturing/styling your hair?
A: I can’t live without my Design Essentials Curl Cleanser Sulfate free shampoo, my Design Essentials Stimulations conditioner and my Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting butter.

Q: What would you say to someone who's thinking about embracing their natural hair, but scared about being rejected in various parts of their lives?
 A: If you are thinking of going natural do so because this is what you want not because your friends etc. are pressuring you to go natural.  Going natural is a personal choice don’t mind what people will say just know you made a choice to have healthier hair.  Take the opportunity to educate them if they question why you went natural.

Q: How can we keep up with you and your journey i.e. blog, twitter, facebook, fotki, tumblr, personal or professional website? (Optional)
A: You can keep up with me at http://www.naturalnicole.com/ my website and on twitter @naturlnicole
 
 
Natural Girls United is happy to celebrate Black History Month. To learn more about the history of Black History Month, go to History - Black History Month and Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_History_Month. One of the goals of the dolls of Natural Girls United is to celebrate our beauty, our individuality, our beautiful tones and our beautiful textures. Love yourself for who you are. Natural Girls United http://www.naturalgirlsunited.com/


I finally got the hair cut that I have wanted for almost a year now.  I hesitated in cutting my hair because I had worked so hard at caring for it so I cold reach a healthy long length.  But I learned that having long hair can be overrated. I loved the way it looked. But my hair became very heavy, hard to style and was always in the way.   After my hair cut, I felt so much lighter. It was a great feeling. 

The good thing about my being open to cutting my hair, is not only is it a bit of a fresh beginning. But I can have fun styling it in more ways, with out it giving me a headache (old length was heavy).

Next!  Hoping to play with some color.  Updates soon.   Any one else thinking of making a change with their natural hair - color, length or style?

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